CHRIS & COTY'S MONEY TIPS

Afraid if you don't perform you'll be "downsized" right into the unemployment line? I thought I had heard it all until a reliable source passed along his experience with job insecurity..

My friend, who had recently been promoted, was worried about his job performance. After several weeks in the new position, he told me he had a terrifying dream. Seems he was kidnapped by a female Bigfoot who was looking for love, apparently in all the wrong places.

The female Bigfoot dragged my friend back to her lair and proceeded to demand sexual favors from him. He reported that performing this activity was so repugnant to him that he couldn't, well "rise" to the occasion. After many false starts and much gagging, the Bigfoot finally gave up in disgust and threw him out.

Waking in a sweat with heart pounding, my friend was afraid his dream had revealed some dark side to his personality. He tried to analyze recent life events to see if anything could have triggered having such a weird dream.

And then it came to him! His dream wasn't some deep-seated, perverted sexual fantasy at all. It was a dream about work. It seems the motto on his new job was, "Working here is like making love to a gorilla; you're not finished until she is!"

And that is all folks,

Coty

I have lived alone for a long time and nosy, well-meaning family members never fail to ask me if I have met someone, am dating someone or am I looking for someone.

They never like the answer. I believe they think it is unnatural for a woman to live alone. Who will fix the air conditioner? Who will build the deck? Who will fix the leak in the sprinkler system? Well, I do all that.

Nearly forty years as a military wife prepared me well. Our sailor or soldier husbands had to get to their new duty station. That left we wives to sell the house, supervise the movers and drive the kids and ourselves across country. And with the low wages paid to military personnel, home repairs and improvements fell to us while our husband’s were away fighting foreign wars.

All these experiences allow us to be self-reliant and not desperate for a man. I have friends who married the first guy that showed interest and lived with all his negatives just so they wouldn’t be alone. And I suspect because they didn’t want everyone to think they couldn’t get a man.

Maybe I’ll find a good man someday but in the meantime I’m too busy to go hunting.

Coty Fowler